What the hell? Seriously? WHAT THE HELL?

So later today I'm going with Mrs. Mehm so we talk about the last things I need to do for my applications. She had called Mrs. Campbell and found out about the D in AP. But that doesn't bug me, what does is that apparently Mrs. Campbell told her she couldn't believe I was sending my applications online and that she thought that was iffy about it going through!

AND SHE DIDN'T TELL ME THIS THE WHAT....NINE OR TEN FUCKING TIMES I WENT TO MEET WITH HER?! She knew I was doing it online and she didn't say a damn thing. I swear, she was all enthusiastic about helping about helping me in the beginning but after that one slip up she has completely given up on me. She hasn't been keeping me up with any scholarship opportunities--I've had to go and find those on my own, she hasn't been honest with me about anything unless I've found out through other people or asked her things directly (such as her not telling me till like...a couple days before break that most of my schools were high reaching) and other things. Considering it's her job to help the students she is assigned through this process you'd expect her to at least put aside her own bias.

I know I'm not filthy rich like all the other students at LCDS, or a genius like them, or all pretty or perfect but I'm a hard worker! During the summer when neither my mother or my brother had a job I was the one out there working, bringing the money, and supporting all of us. I have been slaving for the GSA--a club that someone tried to initiate before and didn't even get passed--I had to get a petition and essay written up, something that none of the other people who made clubs ever had to do and I've been doing a lot to keep it alive despite all the opposition we still face!

Jesus Christ, it's not even as though I'm doing horrible in my other classes. I have nothing below a B in any of my other classes and a good number of As. I suppose though at LCDS you no longer matter when you're not phenomenal...which is just ridiculous considering how difficult it is compared to many other schools in our area, and yet we don't operate on a weighted scale.

The only person who has had any faith in me is Ariel, God bless her. I wish at the very least that if people had their doubts about me or my current path they would at least tell me, so I can begin to make things better.